Career Options

- Llama farming
- Aeronautical space exploring (ie. Astronaut, woo!)
- Morman-focused marriage counselling (since learning that Mormans can get divorced...who knew?)
...to be continued

Important Points:

1. Options are presented in active-verb form, not as nouns, because...
a) labels dis-able
b) my identity should not be essentialized by focusing on my actions within the capitalist system
c) I have agency, dammit

2. Options are presented in no apparent order because...
a) my life is an equal-opportunity postmodern canvas for work choices
...but, llama-farming will always (not-so) secretly be at the top

3. Identity politics has ruined me.

Letters

Letters are the new lists. Uh oh.


Dear Coffee,
I miss you. We weren't good for each other. Please know that Green Tea is just a transitional coping mechanism.
Love always,
Kyla xox

Dear School,
I've given you almost 4 good years. Please don't kill me in these last 4 weeks.
I'll lay partial blame on Daylight Savings, but please be reasonable.
Regards,
Kyla

Dear Daylight Savings,
Bite me.
K

Africa

Life Skills I Have Developed As a Result of Being Born in Africa:

1) If you can see dry sandy soil underneath grass, there are probably thorns – avoid walking barefoot.
2) If you have a mosquito bite on the arch of your foot or the top of your big toe, dragging your foot across a door mat will help in the scratching process. If a door mat is unavailable, disregard the advice provided in item #1 – thorns will suffice.
3) If (or rather when) it is hot enough that the tarmac has become sticky, walk along the white or yellow line painted on the road – note that this takes “barefootedness” for granted, as it is both a way of life and state of mind.
* Please also note that this assumes blatant disregard of traffic laws by situating the barefoot child on the tarmac, potentially in the middle of the road. Traffic laws, on this continent, are a relative concept.

That said, the proliferation of instant coffee offends my Canadian sensibilities.
Also, the residual structured social inequality as part of the legacy of discriminatory institutions.
But Nescafe…seriously?

Stuff Twenty-Somethings Talk About

This topic began as a tongue-in-cheek conversation during a walk to a friend's party in which "real" adults were going to be present.
It is being posted now as the other pieces I've been working on (with photos!) will have to wait until after exams and a trip to Africa.


1. Post-modernism
a. What it is (highly debatable)
b. How we're actually modernists (using self-felating pretentious rhetoric referring to the "Enlightenment agenda")

2. "Europe"
a. Also, "that time we were backpacking"/"when we got lost in _____"/"these Australians we met"

3. T9 Ambiguity and potential symbolic meaning that can be derived thereof
a. Go ahead – enter a word on your cell phone and hit the “+” key...I dare you

4. People who are older than us
a. 30 is the new 25...but only because we are becoming dangerously close to 25, or have in fact passed 25 entirely

5. Homework
a. How it sucks, yet has value by creating the discursive space for teenage rhetoric, ie. giving us a reason to use words like "sucks," "bogus," and "lamesies" as eloquent and multi-syllabic descriptors

6. Parents
a. This topic is both justified and humorous, with the added benefit of basically writing itself

7. Dating outside of our decade
a. '70s or '90s? Always an interesting and worthwhile debate
b. How dating outside of our decade situates ourselves clearly in our own decade - the '80s...enough said.

8. Drinking
a. How much we can drink (distinct accomplishments, ex. "I drank a two-six of vodka out of a water bottle mixed with V8 Splash then chased it with 4 Colt 45s and didn't even puke!" becomes analogous to "I just finished my third Iron Man with my most competitive time yet.")
b. The last time we drank
c. How we might still be drunk
d. When we next plan to drink
e. Foolish/irresponsible things we have done while drinking
f. Not remembering things because we were drinking/"The Black-Out"
g. How all of the above are positive and work to construct social status in the hierarchy of twenty-somethings (as opposed to being embarassing and indicative of a lack of maturity and why our credit card limits are so low)
h. *BONUS* How we will "never drink again" - the most recurring falsehood in the twenty-something's lifeworld



Happy procrastination, Hilary-love!

Options

I am officially educated enough to have lost all faith in humanity, as a theoretical construct, an abstract proposition, and a tangible entity. Thus, I feel I have two immediate options:

1. Tattoo an anchor on my foot, smoke a pack of cigarettes, and ride out my twenties waiting for China to take over.

2. Fly to Quebec.

Option 2 is taken care of and ready to go, but I'm not ruling out option 1 entirely as I feel it is always necessary to have a backup plan.
In other, less disparaging news, I have an actual writing project that will begin next week, involving fewer obscure philosophical references. And pictures.

Cornel West!

Everyone go and watch Astra Taylor's documentary, "Examined Life," so that you too can share in the wonder of Cornel West in the back of a cab!

I'm glad my brain managed to access that one...still waiting for the marshmallow frosting...any day now.

So. Tired.

Assortment of Fatigue Induced Reflections:

1. Judith Butler is much shorter than she appears in writing (figure that one out).
2. I watched a man talk about romanticism, Beethoven, and the Blues in the back of a New York taxi, and cannot remember his last name.
3. "Honey, you look like you know your way around - where do I find the lard, I'm too cheap for butter?" - my new 80 year old Safeway friend.
4. I'm not too cheap for butter.
5. Philosophy and Safeway-navigation will not save you from second degree yam soup burns.

90 hours until Montreal!