Adulthood vs. Studentism

I have to write two papers this weekend. I am having school-year flashbacks – sitting on my bed amidst a sea of papers, listening to drunken laughter from my neighbour’s balcony, drinking coffee reminiscent of nail polish remover at 9pm. However, these papers will not be graded. I will not be rewarded with a number between 0 and 100 to validate my late night efforts. Far more terrifying, my writing is expected to serve some functional purpose for people outside of academia – people in the “real world.”

I am using knowledge and skills acquired during my undergraduate education in a “real world” setting. This implies that I possess “transferable skills.”

The sheer magnitude of this realization has contributed to an amazing tension headache that started in my forehead and has since filled my skull and spilled into my neck and shoulders.

Using my “folk knowledge” of headaches, I ventured into my closet-sized kitchen to make tea. The chord of the electric kettle melted during an impromptu kitchen fire last week, so I filled a pot of water and switched on the stove. The electric stove elements erupted in blue sparks, accompanied by loud clicking noises. While these barriers to tea drinking would normally have seemed like a cruel joke after a stressful week, after leaping to switch off the stove, I high-fived myself: I may have transferable skills with “real world” applications, but my entire apartment is a safety hazard, there are socks drying on my bedside lamp, and I ate peanut butter with a spoon for dinner. Nice try, adulthood. Studentism, I embrace you – we’re still in this together!